remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
