i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
