no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
