Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
