yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
