ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
