think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I forgot how hot balto sounded
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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