his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
