she woke up with a sticky ear
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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