I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
