Where did you get a picture of my penis
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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