i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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