is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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