I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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