You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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