Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Two words: blizzard sex
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
