Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
