Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
