Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
