anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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