Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
