Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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