Three words: puerto rican gang bang
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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