hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize