So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
