whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
