So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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