ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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