Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
