Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
