please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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