pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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