My boss' voice literally gives me gas
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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