Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
