Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
