it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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