Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
