Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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