All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
