Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
