do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
