are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
