..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
