We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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