Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
