that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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