He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
