yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
this will be a night to untag.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
