dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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