I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
