tell your sister to shave her snatch
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
