Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I need to stop coming to work sober
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
