I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
