tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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