watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
