Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
