..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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