So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
