You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
