I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Text me some of your sweat
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
