Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
