i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize