They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
