I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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