So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize