Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
